Dreading Tomorrow

I don't wanna leave this handsome boy :(

I am sad to say that today is my last day of maternity leave :(  I go back to work tomorrow, and I hate that I have to leave Eric, that I won't be the one holding him, taking care of him and seeing his smiles.  It's not just that I've been with him for the last eight weeks, he was with me everyday for 9 months before that, no matter where I was, I had him and knew he was alright because I was taking care of him.

The lady that is watching him is the same one that watched Liam for his first year, and she is great, but I'm jealous that she gets to take care of him and be with him.  I keep telling myself that at least I only work three days a week, and when I gave her the July schedule for the days she would have Eric, he will be with her eight days of the month, only eight, but that is still eight days that I will be missing out on.

I love being a mommy!  I have loved every minute(even the crazy) of being home with the kids this past eight weeks, being home when they wake up and go to bed, having special Rylie/Mommy time during recital week, rocking Liam to sleep at night, and having extra family time.

Well, tomorrow is going to come whether I like it or not.  So I will just have to put on a brave face, pretend I'm happy to be back, even though my heart and mind will be on Eric, and count the hours until the end of my shift to getting to be at home with my babies! 

So pray for me tomorrow, that I can hide the tears everytime someone asks me about my baby, that I can make it through the day and that it goes by fast, and that I actually have the courage to pull out of the baby-sitter's driveway and drive to work.  I pray for Eric too, that he warms up to his baby-sitter, that she cuddles and spoils him, that he is safe, that he isn't mad at mommy for leaving him and his day goes by fast too.


Mommy loves you Eric!!!!!



3 weeks as a Mommy of 3

                                              ~Eric @ 3 weeks old 5~29~12
It's hard to believe our little guy is almost a month old.  It's amazing how much he has grown and changed from this:

The last 3 weeks have been exhausting, exciting, challenging and amazing for different reasons at one time or another.  Being a mommy of three has given me a whole new outlook on mommy hood and life.  I couldn't imagine a moment without my three littles, but the way daily life happens has certainly changed as far as parenting goes.

Rylie and Liam have adjusted well to having a new little brother, and of coarse some days are better than others.  Liam still has a hard time dealing with that he has to share us with another sibling.  We take time and special attention to make sure he knows how much we love him, and we make sure to give him one-on-one attention in all the craziness.  I will take him by himself when I have to run errands or do something special just him and I, and my husband does the same.  Rylie is doing pretty well and loves her new brother.  She understands more than Liam when her requests can't necessarily be meant "right now."  We also spend one-on-one time with just her as well.  We think it's important to give each child individual time when we can so that they don't feel any less important than another sibling or feel like they aren't getting enough attention because of another sibling.

It is more challenging when it is just me with all three kids! One mommy + 3 kids = some chaos!  I am figuring out how to best meet all of their needs in a timely manner, keep Rylie and Liam's fighting to a minimum, keep my sanity, and be the best mommy I can be for them.  I do have to give loads of credit to my wonderful husband!! He is truly the best hands~on daddy and I am very thankful to have him.  There is no "my job or your job" when it comes to caring for the kids, well except for the producing breast milk part, that is a "mama job", but we just tag team when it comes to taking care of the kids, and we try to spend equal time doing things for each of the kids so it's not only one of us caring for one child or the other.  I couldn't ask for a better husband and daddy for our littles!!!!

Eric is a great baby, he is pretty quiet except for when he is hungry or has poo in his diaper.  He really only wakes up twice during the night to eat.  For a couple of nights though he was not wanting to go back to sleep after eating.  He was staying awake for the few hours after eating up until his next feeding.  This made for a tired mama and baby.  Then he was sleeping more during the day and not wanting to sleep well at night.  Last night I tried something a little different.  When he would wake up to eat, I switched from changing his diaper after he ate to before he ate.  I noticed he wakes up more during his diaper change, perfect for getting ready to eat, not so great for trying to get him back to sleep.  By doing this, he would get sleepy while eating and he was able to get back to sleep quicker.  We slept much better last night!  We are also trying to keep Eric up more during the day for better sleep at night.

So overall we are making it as a new family of 5!!!  We are learning and growing as our children grow.  Each challenge is a learning experience, and while all of our children have the same parents, our three children are anything but the same.  We are always learning the best ways to deal with and bring out the best in each of their personalities.

                                                    Eric @ 1 week old~newborn picture
Well I better get back to my littles, I wanted to update on how Eric was doing and how our new family of 5 is adjusting.  Eric's birth announcements will be mailed out soon, I was waiting on his newborn photos to make the announcements so I'm a little behind, but I will share the chosen announcement once they get mailed out to our family and friends.

~Jamie
            (the blessed Mommy)

Some Things I'm Learning the Second Time Around...

It's amazing when when you're a mom of more than one child, how things change from one child to the next.  When Rylie was a baby, my overall goal was to keep her healthy, happy and clean!!! Besides her eating puffs, crackers and other dry food, I didn't really let her feed herself until she was about 16 months old(in hopes to prevent a mess on her and the floor).  We didn't have finger paints and crayons were given in a controlled environment.  Today as Liam was eating, he had rice and vegetables on him, the floor and even his head!!! I thought to myself how things sure do change with the second one.  Maybe because with two children, my worries for their safety and health double,  and rice on the floor is small in comparison. Also, our house is now filled with crayons and finger paints which I have learned will come off the walls and counters eventually with some scrubbing!!!

Here's some pictures of Liam's messy lunch and my more relaxed parenting:

One Proud Mama of Two

On Mother's Day, I took some time to reflect on my children.  When you have more than one child, people often compare them and mine are no different.  I hear comments like she was an easier baby or he wants to be held more than she did.  Even though they have the same parents, they are different ages, different sexes and completely different children.  Here is what I love about my children:

What I love about her:

1.  I love how strong willed and independent Rylie is.  I have no doubt she is going to be a woman to be reckoned with when she grows up.
2. I love how she shows concern for others.  Even without saying anything, she knows when someone isn't themselves and just needs a hug.
3.  I love her sense of humor.  She comes up with the funniest things to say and has some pretty cute knock-knock jokes.
4.  I love how smart she is.  She can recite and memorize things at first glance.  She does very well in preschool, even being advanced for her age.
5.  I love her creativeness and her imagination.

What I love about him:

1. I love how loving he is. Liam always gives lots of hugs and love.
2. I love his determination.  He will try and try to figure something out until he gets it.
3. I love how curious he is.  He doesn't let anything get past him and wants to figure out how it does that or why.
4.  I love his sense of humor.  He laughs all the time, even at himself, cracks me up.
5. I love how he shows his love for his sister.  They even sympathy cry for each other.  His face lights up when he sees her.

I could go on and on about what I love about them. Through the years as they grow and change, they may have some things the same but I'm sure more things different. To me they are equally perfect and I wouldn't change a single thing about either one of them.  I am one proud mama of two!!!!!

Motherhood is not for Sissies

In the spirit of Mother's Day, I had a couple more Mother's Day posts to share, so a little late here they are.  On my first Mother's Day, I had been in a glow of motherhood of our baby girl who was about 6 weeks old.  I thought I had it all figured out. She was a happy, healthy, sleeping baby girl(maybe not a great sleeper) but I was on top of the world.  My husband for my first Mother's Day made me a steak dinner, flowers, card and this book Motherhood is not for Sissies.  I kind of laughed when I first saw it, thinking motherhood is great, couldn't ask for a better baby, it had been easy so far.  So yesterday as I celebrated my 5th Mother's Day and now being a mom of two, I realized motherhood is kind of like a game of survivor, us against them.
Not everyday is without some tears, the house isn't always spotless and even sometimes I think, "Wow, kids score 1 and mom 0."  I've learned, as long as they are healthy, happy, fed, loved, clean and housed, that's all that really matters.  While everyday isn't glamorous in motherhood, everyday is amazing for so many reasons.
Here are some of my favorite quotes form the book:
"Motherhood is not for sissies.  A mother needs strength, courage, patience, a big heart, and, most of all, a good sense of humor.  Raising children is not for the fainthearted; they disturb your sleep, add wrinkles to your brow, and test limits of your physical endurance."

"All mothers are working mothers."

"That million-dollar smile doesn't come cheap."

"Never tell a child anything you wouldn't want the whole neighborhood to know.

"In the cycles of motherhood, there is never a dull moment.."

"Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper.  It doesn't permanently solve any problems, but it makes things more acceptable for a while."

I truely love being a mommy, mainly because I get to be Rylie and Liam's mommy.  I am thankful and blessed everyday to have been given these two children.

Mommy Guilt

It has been a crazy couple of weeks with all four of our birthdays being in a month of each other; Disneyland/San Diego, 3 classes, working, Rylie's dance etc.  Well last night as I had dinner on the stove/oven, sitting at the table doing homework while Liam was crying, pulling on me to pick him up and only wanting mom, I began thinking am I a bad mom?  Yes the number of hours I'm away from them are few and far between, really only when I have to work or have something to have to do with work. The time I am taking for school to do homework or tests while they want me to play or Liam is crying for only me to hold him though, I began thinking if it's worth it or should I postpone school until they are in school full time?  I know in reality that there is never going to be a "great" time to go to school while raising children but it still doesn't help my guilt though.  Last night Rylie said, "Mommy I miss you." and she was laying right next to me :(

Then this morning while feeding Liam breakfast, I realized my gosh tomorrow he is going to be 1 years old, a whole year has gone by already!!!  I thought he is going to be a year and I'm sure there are details of this year I have forgot, his baby book isn't even closed to being finished, his 1st year calendar is missing milestones and goodness Rylie's first year scrapbook is in the closet taunting me as it still needs finishing touches!!!!
I wish I had more time! Time to spend with them without having to do school stuff, time to get their pictures scrap booked and baby books done, time for my husband, time with friends!  I realize as a busy, working mom of two that "Father Time" is not on my side but to make the best of the time I get and to prioritize the important stuff.  I know I am always going to wish I could do more but showing and telling my children how much I love them and love being their mommy means more than doing.
I will probably be up late tonight though trying to get Liam's baby book up to date and pictures organized to start scrap booking!!!

All for now from this proud, busy, feeling guilty Mommy!!!

You know You're a Mommy When....

(Liam standing!) "Look mom, no hands!"

It's funny how life changes when you become a mommy.  Shopping for you becomes shopping to have the kids look cute, 6 week hair cuts and 8 week highlights become whenever you can squeeze in an appointment and before your hair looks awful and the world revolves around them.  However, once you're a mom, these beautiful kids now make your life great and all the stuff in the past are just details.

You know you're a Mommy when:
1. Your daily shower revolves around nap time.
2. While looking in your purse you find a pacifier.
3. The kid's musical toys are playing in the car on your way to work, yet the kids aren't even in the car!
4. The kids getting naps + no injuries = a great day!
5. When a shopping trip takes twice as long because your 3 year wants to "help" push the cart.
6. A new season = new wardrobe for the kids!(makes my husband cringe!)
7. A new milestone warrants a picture or update on Facebook because "everyone" thinks your kids are just as cute as you do.
8. "Mommy, I love you!" can change your mood and put a smile on your face in an instant!
9. You wake up with pillow pet and Tigger in your bed along with your 3 year old sleeping cross ways on the bed!
10. You may forget a lot of things, but you'll never forget the moment your children were born.

Proud to be Rylie and Liam's Mommy!!!

9 months and Growing

9 months ago today I gave birth to Liam and boy how fast time has gone!!  He now weighs 19 lbs. 8 oz. and he is 28 inches long.  He is a fast crawler getting into all kinds of things that make mommy cringe and think he sure is different than his sister was at this age. I guess boys will be boys!!!

He is a happy boy, smiling and giggling all the time.  I think everytime he smiles I fall in love with him all over again.  He is very loving baby, giving many baby hugs and kisses throughout the day.  He stands on his own and cruises from the couch to his activity table or end table.  He loves to pull himself up and play.  He says, "ma ma, mum mum, da da, bo bo and ba ba."  He just started waving bye-bye.  Today at the doctor when the nurse was poking his toe for the anemia test, he started waving bye-bye to her.  I think he was thinking she should hit the road and leave him alone!! 

Liam loves his sister and she loves him.  He often starts to giggle at the sight of her and she always says, "Aww brother, you're so cute, I love you."  I hope they are always close even though I'm sure things will change as they get older.

For the past couple of months, Liam has been on antibiotics for his ears.  Today was a follow-up check along with his 9 month check-up.  I was disappointed to hear that his right ear hasn't not improved to his doctor's satisfaction and we have been referred to a specialist with the possibility of Liam having ear tubes placed.  I was crossing my fingers and praying that his ears would be better but I know it's best now to look at other options to fix them. I think for any mom, the thought of having their child go through any procedure brings a sense of worry. I will keep you updated once we know more.

As fast as these 9 months have gone, I have enjoyed every minute of it (yes even the sleepless nights)! I thank God everyday for my happy, healthy boy and I love being his mommy!!!

Rylie Says What?....

If anyone has small children you know they can say the darnest things and pay attention to what's going on around them more than we might think.  So I wanted to keep track of Rylie's little comments on her world...

1.  Me: "Rylie what's your baby's name?"  Rylie: "Baby's name is brother."  Me: "Rylie your baby is a girl."  Rylie: "I know mama but she looks like brother, see brother like you."(She shows Liam her baby)

2. Rylie: "Mom I think brother likes me."  Me: "Rylie brother loves you."  Rylie:  "Yeah mom but brother likes me too."

3.  Me:  "Rylie did you take a nap at school today?"  Rylie:  "No mom, I don't like to take a nap at school."  Me:  "Rylie you need to take a nap at school so you don't get tired."  Rylie:  "Mom Miss Martha needs to take a nap."(her preschool teacher)

4.  My mom took Rylie and Liam one night while we went to a friend's wedding. Ry was very upset that we were leaving, here is Granny and Rylie's talk:
Rylie: (wiping tears)  "Granny, I have a problem."  Granny: "Rylie what's your problem?"  Rylie: "Granny mommy and daddy put me in my car seat and now I have a problem."  Granny: "Rylie mommy and daddy had to go out for a little bit and when you wake up they will be here to get you."  Rylie: "Okay Granny so I'm going to sleep so when I wake up mommy and daddy will be here."

5. Me:  "Rylie you need to cross your legs and sit like a lady."  Rylie:  "Mom I'm not a lady, I'm Rylie!"

6.  Rylie:  "Mommy I want a smoothie please!"   Me:  "Rylie you are sick and threw up, we should save the smoothie for another day.  We are going to go get some soup."  Rylie:  "Mommy I don't want to spit up anymore(throw up), I don't want any soup, it will make me sick.(she puts her hand on her belly)  Smoothie will make me all better Mommy."

It's crazy how my baby girl is turning into a little lady so fast!! Stay tuned for some more Rylie conversation!!!