Dreading Tomorrow

I don't wanna leave this handsome boy :(

I am sad to say that today is my last day of maternity leave :(  I go back to work tomorrow, and I hate that I have to leave Eric, that I won't be the one holding him, taking care of him and seeing his smiles.  It's not just that I've been with him for the last eight weeks, he was with me everyday for 9 months before that, no matter where I was, I had him and knew he was alright because I was taking care of him.

The lady that is watching him is the same one that watched Liam for his first year, and she is great, but I'm jealous that she gets to take care of him and be with him.  I keep telling myself that at least I only work three days a week, and when I gave her the July schedule for the days she would have Eric, he will be with her eight days of the month, only eight, but that is still eight days that I will be missing out on.

I love being a mommy!  I have loved every minute(even the crazy) of being home with the kids this past eight weeks, being home when they wake up and go to bed, having special Rylie/Mommy time during recital week, rocking Liam to sleep at night, and having extra family time.

Well, tomorrow is going to come whether I like it or not.  So I will just have to put on a brave face, pretend I'm happy to be back, even though my heart and mind will be on Eric, and count the hours until the end of my shift to getting to be at home with my babies! 

So pray for me tomorrow, that I can hide the tears everytime someone asks me about my baby, that I can make it through the day and that it goes by fast, and that I actually have the courage to pull out of the baby-sitter's driveway and drive to work.  I pray for Eric too, that he warms up to his baby-sitter, that she cuddles and spoils him, that he is safe, that he isn't mad at mommy for leaving him and his day goes by fast too.


Mommy loves you Eric!!!!!