Heavy Heart

Usually my posts are lighthearted and happy, except it's been a rough couple of weeks for Bill and I losing friends, and a rough year for making that total of friends lost of 3.  It weighs heavy on my heart that these three are gone, these young friends with families and friends that loved them are no longer here.  It's even harder for me and Bill to imagine because these three friends were our age.
In June, Bill lost his best friend of seventeen years Eric.  They met Bill's first day of college class and were best friends ever since.  Eric aka "Hays" was in our wedding and stayed with us when he came down for the wedding.  Even though I only met Eric once, from all the stories Bill had told me and how easy he fit right in with our family when he came down, I felt like I had known him much longer.  He was a part of the Fitzgerald family and even became friends with my parents as soon as he met them.  In the moment I had to tell my husband his best friend had passed away, I knew our lives would be forever changed.  I kept hoping it was all a mistake, that he wasn't really gone, I would have given anything in the world to make my husband's pain go away and bring his best friend back.  We couldn't grasp the fact that he was really gone, with no answers at that time as to why.  We now have an idea why he passed away, but even that aspect is hard for us, because it's something that could have been detected and controlled with medical intervention.  I will always be grateful that he brought so much happiness and friendship into my husband's life and will always help Bill keep Eric's memory alive.
                                                              Eric and Bill

A couple of weeks ago we received word that a young women that worked with Bill in radiology and that I went to high school with had passed away from ovarian cancer.  She was diagnosed when I was just about to deliver Liam a little over a year ago.  I never thought this illness would take her life.  She was so young and beautiful, she was a going to go to ultrasound school when she got diagnosed.  I had just seen her the week before she died, and while I knew her illness had progressed, I never thought she would die.  I sometimes wonder why young people die, and people who abuse their bodies and have poor health can survive.  I don't mean to sound mean, but it's frustrating that with all the medical technologies we have that people are still dying from cancer.
Yesterday I had got word from one of my best friends that her fiance had passed away in his sleep.  He was only a few years older than Bill.  He had children and a family that loved him so much.  We don't know exactly why he died and out of respect for my best friend, I won't tell speculation of what happened.  My heart is breaking for her, this person that she was going to spend the rest of her life with is no longer here, gone in a second, leaving everyone with questions why?  I am going to spend time with her today, and while I don't think I am the best in these situations, I have learned that often people just want an ear to listen.  So that's what I'll do; I'll give an ear to listen to her heartache, the memories, and her fears. I'll give as many hugs as she needs and tears with her, because that's what friends do.

Me and Brit

With all the losses we've had this year, my husband has said he is ready for a new year and what is in store, hopefully without loss for our family.  I am still going to make every memory, smile, and laugh count for the rest of this year, and take next year when it comes.  With the loss of our friends, it definitely makes me realize how precious time is.  I am living by the song words, "If tomorrow never comes, will she know how much I loved her."  It doesn't matter what you have, how much you work or things you can accomplish.  It matters how you make the most of the time you have, the memories you make with the ones you love, and accomplishing the task of making sure the ones you love know how much you love them everyday.